A Guide for the Married Man
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:06:01
- Yesterday, I had lunch with-
- With me, Paul. With me.

:06:07
Oh. Yeah.
:06:11
Who was she, Ed?
:06:13
When I left the barbershop
a few days ago...

:06:15
there was this lady traffic cop...
:06:17
and she was writing me out
a parking ticket.

:06:24
- Hi, Daddy! Hi, Daddy!
- Daddy! Hi!

:06:27
But how did you know
she'd be willing?

:06:29
After a while, you sort of begin
to develop a nose for it.

:06:32
Yes, but at the beginning-
the first time, for instance.

:06:34
How did you know
the first time?

:06:36
- Instinct.
- Hey, Daddy! Daddy, look!

:06:39
Well, what if you don't have instinct?
:06:41
You have to sort of put out feelers.
You know, a little joke first.

:06:44
- What?
- You have to sort of put out feelers.

:06:46
- A-A little joke first, and then you-
- Joke?

:06:49
- You can joke at a time like that?
- Why not?

:06:52
I don't know. I just thought
you'd be too, uh, scar- too fri-

:06:56
- Do you have to take her out first?
- Daddy.!

:07:00
But what if someone recognizes your car
in front of the motel?

:07:03
Let Hertz put you in the driver's seat.
:07:06
Daddy.! Look at me.
:07:08
- Hi, kids. Hi.
- Hi, hi.

:07:11
- Do all married guys do it, Ed?
- No, no.

:07:13
Maybe there comes a time
in every marriage...

:07:16
when the guy considers it,
but not all of them give in to it.

:07:19
Only about 43%.
:07:22
Which I think is about to go up to 44.
:07:25
Huh? No, not me.
:07:27
Never. Never in a hundred years.
:07:29
Never in a thousand years.
Never in a... million years.

:07:33
A million.
:07:38
Why, Ed? Why?
Why does a guy do it?

:07:40
I can understand it if he doesn't like his wife
or he isn't happy at home.

:07:43
But why if he loves his wife, if he's crazy
about her and he's glad he's married to her...

:07:47
and he never wants
to be married to anyone else?

:07:49
- Why, Ed? Why?
- Lots of reasons.

:07:55
A manifestation of latent insecurity.

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