The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat
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:02:00
You're nothing
in the bathroom.

:02:02
You're nothing in bed.
:02:03
You don't even change the damn
roller on the toilet paper.

:02:07
I'm the one
that uses that mostly.

:02:09
And what about
putting the seat down?

:02:11
Why don't you ever do that?
:02:12
Why don't you take that
chicken-shit grin off your face?

:02:16
Fritz! You're a no-good!
:02:20
How much can a person take?
:02:24
And why don't you ever
put the goddamn seat down...

:02:26
when you're through peeing?
:02:28
You rotten putz, you!
:02:30
That's all you do is sit around.
:02:32
I never saw anything like it
in my entire life!

:02:35
You know what
I would like to do to you?

:02:37
I would like to take you
and shake you...

:02:39
until all your teeth
fall right onto the floor...

:02:43
and then you know what I'd do?
:02:44
I'd stamp on them,
all the teeth...

:02:46
and I'd make them
right into powder.

:02:47
And then I'd sprinkle the powder
right over your head.

:02:49
And then I would knock you
right in the goddamn face!

:02:53
I'd like to pulverize you!
:02:54
I'd take your nose...
:02:55
and I'd put it across
the room on the wall.

:02:58
I'd like to knock you
into next week sometimes!

:03:01
This is it, Fritz.
I'm really sore.

:03:04
Now, I'm really sore.
I am sick to death!

:03:06
I'm gonna tell you one time
and one time only...

:03:08
so you better listen to me...
:03:10
because if you don't
listen to me now...

:03:12
I ain't gonna say it again.
:03:13
I'll go out and get myself
a two by four...

:03:15
and beat your fucking head in!
:03:17
You are gonna pick up
after yourself.

:03:19
From now on, I'm through
picking up after you.

:03:21
And you will put the seat down
on that goddamn toilet!

:03:24
I'm telling you one time
and one time only.

:03:26
You're a no-good bum,
and I've had it with you, Fritz!

:03:29
I have had it with you!
:03:37
And let me tell you
something else.

:03:39
I know you play around.
:03:41
Don't try to lie to me.
:03:44
You don't even have
a guilty look on your face.

:03:46
You really don't give a goddamn.
:03:48
I know that
you're playing around.

:03:50
Don't think I haven't seen you.
:03:51
I get telephone calls
from girls.

:03:53
They call me up.
God knows why they want you.

:03:56
Don't they know
how shitty you are in bed?!


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