:04:03
And those who couldn't do anything,
l think, were assigned to our school.
:04:10
l must say, l always thought
my schoolmates were idiots.
:04:13
Melvyn Greenglass
and his fat little face.
:04:16
And Henrietta Farrell,
Miss Perfect all the time.
:04:19
And lvan Ackerman,
always the wrong answer. Always!
:04:23
Seven and three is nine.
:04:26
Even then l knew
they were just jerks.
:04:28
ln 1942 l had already discovered women.
:04:34
He kissed me!
:04:37
That's the second time this month!
Step up here.
:04:40
- What did l do?
- Step up here.
:04:42
- What did l do?
- You should be ashamed of yourself.
:04:44
Why? l was just expressing
a healthy sexual curiosity.
:04:47
Six-year-old boys
don't have girls on their minds.
:04:51
l did.
:04:52
For God sakes, Alvy, even Freud
speaks of a latency period!
:04:56
l never had a latency period.
l can't help it.
:04:59
Why couldn't you
have been more like Donald?
:05:02
There was a model boy.
:05:04
Tell the folks
where you are today, Donald.
:05:07
l run a profitable dress company.
:05:10
Sometimes l wonder where
my classmates are today.
:05:14
l'm president
of the Pinkus Plumbing Company.
:05:19
l sell talliths.
:05:21
l used to be a heroin addict,
now l'm a methadone addict.
:05:27
l'm into leather.
:05:30
l lost track of most of my old
schoolmates, but l wound up a comedian.
:05:34
They did not take me in the army.
:05:37
l was 4-P.
:05:39
ln the event of war,
l'm a hostage.
:05:45
You always only saw the worst
in people.
:05:48
You never could get along
with anyone in school.
:05:51
You were always out of step
with the world.
:05:54
Even when you got famous,
you still distrusted the world.
:05:57
l distinctly heard it.
He muttered under his breath, "Jew."