Sixteen Candles
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:56:00
She's crying for you.
:56:01
I told her you asked
about her. Right?
The girl freaked.

:56:04
She had a hissy. She thinks
you're the cat's meow.
Really?

:56:08
Yeah.
She came up to me
in the gym tonight.

:56:11
She looked at me
like I was a leper.

:56:13
Girls'll do that, Jake.
:56:15
You see, they know guys are,
like, in perpetual heat, right?

:56:18
They know this shit.
And they enjoy pumping us up.

:56:21
It's pure power politics,
I'm tellin' you.

:56:23
I thought she hated
my guts.

:56:25
Games, Jake.
Silly, torturous games.

:56:29
You know how many times a week
I go without lunch because some
bitch borrows my lunch money?

:56:32
Any halfway decent girl
can rob me blind!

:56:36
Because I'm too torqued up
to say no.

:56:38
It's heinous,
I'm telling you.

:56:40
You better not be
dickin' me around.

:56:42
It'd be a major downer
to try and get together...

:56:44
and find out she really does
think I'm a slime.

:56:47
Jake, would I dick you?
:56:49
Let me put it to you this way.
:56:51
What happens to me
if I dick you?

:56:53
[Chuckles]
I'd kick your ass.

:56:56
Right. So why would I lie?
:56:58
But I feel compelled
to mention, Jake,

:57:01
if all you want is a piece
of ass, I mean,

:57:04
I'll either do it myself,
or get someone bigger than me,

:57:07
to kick your ass.
:57:10
I mean, not many girls in contemporary
American society today...

:57:14
would give their underwear
to help a geek like me.

:57:17
I can get a piece of ass
anytime I want.

:57:20
Shit, I got Caroline
in my bedroom right now,
passed out cold.

:57:23
I could violate her
ten different ways
if I wanted to.

:57:27
What are you
waiting for?
I don't know.

:57:30
She's beautiful,
and she's built
and all that.

:57:33
[Sighs]
I'm just not
interested anymore.

:57:36
Does that really matter, guy?
Yeah, it matters.

:57:39
She's totally insensitive.
Look what she did
to my house.

:57:43
She doesn't know shit
about love.

:57:45
Only thing she cares
about is partying.

:57:48
I want a serious girlfriend.
:57:50
Somebody I can love,
that's gonna love me back.

:57:55
Is that psycho?
[Spits]

:57:59
That's beautiful, Jake.

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