:14:01
"l just had to share it with you.
:14:03
"l had resigned myself
to another night of reading your magazine...
:14:06
"when there was a knock
on my dorm room door.
:14:09
"And when I opened the door,
I could hardly believe my eyes.
:14:13
"There were two of the foxiest twins
I had ever seen...
:14:17
"with long brunette hair,
legs that wouldn't quit...
:14:21
"and firm tits."
:14:26
How does that sound?
:14:27
Change "tits" to "generous scoops
of mouthwatering flesh."
:14:31
And have them defy gravity.
:14:32
Is this shirt good?
:14:34
Yeah. You think they'll know that
"scoops of flesh" means "tits"?
:14:37
I don't think it sounds specific enough.
:14:39
Where else are you gonna find
scoops of flesh?
:14:41
How's this for an opening line:
:14:43
"Did you know that
Nietzsche died of syphilis?"
:14:46
-How do you spell "zucchini"?
-Z-u-c-h-i-n-i.
:14:49
Nietzsche's too obscure.
:14:51
How about, "Did you know
that Shakespeare died of syphilis?"
:14:55
She probably knows it isn't true.
I don't know what to say.
:14:58
It's not what you say that counts,
but how you say it.
:15:01
-Use sincerity. It's the best technique.
-What?
:15:07
Come here.
:15:16
You know, I've never met
anyone like you before.
:15:21
Usually, when I meet someone new,
I feel awkward and shy.
:15:25
But with you, it's different.
:15:27
I can talk to you.
:15:30
You know what I'm thinking, without my
having to explain it to you in fancy terms.
:15:35
We speak each other's unspoken language...
:15:39
fluently.
:15:42
I love you.
:15:45
That is the most enormous pile of horseshit
I've ever heard in my life.
:15:50
-Get out of here, you piece of slime.
-No chick would ever buy it.
:15:53
That's where you're wrong.
It's how I got Lucy.
:15:56
-It's horseshit.
-Effective horseshit.
:15:59
Get a life.