1:14:02
and his brother woke up, jump on top
of my boy and started kicking his ass.
1:14:05
Then somebody says,
"Fight in the back!"
1:14:07
And all the people,
the bouncers, came
1:14:09
and saw two niggers
fighting two white guys.
1:14:11
They jump on the niggers.
"You niggers have to learn
1:14:14
"to stop fucking up our club.
Didn't we let you in here, nigger?
1:14:16
"We saw you laughing while
we were dancing. We saw you."
1:14:19
Then all the brothers saw 40 white
guys beating up two black guys,
1:14:22
"Hey, you can't beat up the brothers."
They jump in the fight.
1:14:24
Then it looked like 40 white guys
fighting 40 black guys,
1:14:27
it was a big race war and suntan lotion
and Jheri-curl juices shooting all over.
1:14:31
And at the end of the fight,
everybody sued me.
1:14:36
Everybody claimed
I whipped their ass.
1:14:37
I'm 5'1 0". I weigh 1 65 pounds.
I can't whip a disco's ass by myself.
1:14:42
Even people that didn't fight sued me.
1:14:44
People that watched the fight
was in court.
1:14:46
"No, I didn't actually fight,
but I was there watching.
1:14:49
"And it was a discotheque
and a strobe light fell off the ceiling,
1:14:52
"creating a weird effect
with the mirror
1:14:54
"and I saw this
and my eyes were sprained,
1:14:57
"the eyes, and I need 1 2 million
for my sprained eyes."
1:15:04
Brothers sued me. Yo, man,
the brothers came out and sued.
1:15:06
I was like, "Ain't no brothers
gonna sue me." Brothers sued Ed.
1:15:09
The brothers went to get paid.
I was, "Brothers don't sue brothers."
1:15:12
They was like, "Fuck that.
I'm getting paid, motherfucker."
1:15:15
Brothers went to court,
got educated on the judge.
1:15:17
All of a sudden they was like,
"State your case."
1:15:20
"Yes, Your Honor, on the evening
in question, per se, Your Honor.
1:15:25
"Yo, check it out, Your Honor.
I was inside the disco.
1:15:27
"Cooling, right?
I went in with my girlie, right?
1:15:29
"My girl start illing,
'Oh, there go Eddie Murphy.'
1:15:32
"Start acting all tipsy and shit.
I say, 'Where?' She say, 'Over there.'
1:15:35
"I say,
'Fuck that big-nose motherfucker.
1:15:37
'I make my money just like him.'
Right, Your Honor?
1:15:40
"I don't give a fuck.
I ain't getting on nobody.
1:15:42
"So, Your Honor, check it out, right?
What happened then, right?
1:15:45
"I say, 'Yo, what you want, me go over,
get the motherfucker autograph?'
1:15:49
"I got the autograph for my girlie.
1:15:51
"I walked over and said,
'Yo, Ed, sign this autograph.'
1:15:55
"Then Ed say, 'I ain't signing
a motherfucking thing.
1:15:58
'Fuck you and your ugly bitch.'
I say, 'Yo, Ed.