Eddie Murphy Raw
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1:15:04
Brothers sued me. Yo, man,
the brothers came out and sued.

1:15:06
I was like, "Ain't no brothers
gonna sue me." Brothers sued Ed.

1:15:09
The brothers went to get paid.
I was, "Brothers don't sue brothers."

1:15:12
They was like, "Fuck that.
I'm getting paid, motherfucker."

1:15:15
Brothers went to court,
got educated on the judge.

1:15:17
All of a sudden they was like,
"State your case."

1:15:20
"Yes, Your Honor, on the evening
in question, per se, Your Honor.

1:15:25
"Yo, check it out, Your Honor.
I was inside the disco.

1:15:27
"Cooling, right?
I went in with my girlie, right?

1:15:29
"My girl start illing,
'Oh, there go Eddie Murphy.'

1:15:32
"Start acting all tipsy and shit.
I say, 'Where?' She say, 'Over there.'

1:15:35
"I say,
'Fuck that big-nose motherfucker.

1:15:37
'I make my money just like him.'
Right, Your Honor?

1:15:40
"I don't give a fuck.
I ain't getting on nobody.

1:15:42
"So, Your Honor, check it out, right?
What happened then, right?

1:15:45
"I say, 'Yo, what you want, me go over,
get the motherfucker autograph?'

1:15:49
"I got the autograph for my girlie.
1:15:51
"I walked over and said,
'Yo, Ed, sign this autograph.'

1:15:55
"Then Ed say, 'I ain't signing
a motherfucking thing.

1:15:58
'Fuck you and your ugly bitch.'
I say, 'Yo, Ed.

1:16:00
'I'll bust your ass
for saying shit like that.'

1:16:02
"He say, 'Motherfucker, I...'
And he ran over to my woman

1:16:05
"and slap her in the face,
Your Honor.

1:16:07
"Then he slap me and
my man in the face.

1:16:10
"All three of us, like
the Three Stooges, Your Honor.

1:16:12
"Twelve million.
1:16:15
"Twelve!" I was disgusted.
1:16:17
"Yeah, Your Honor.
Give us half his shit."

1:16:25
I was mad. I called my mother up.
You know how you do.

1:16:28
When you get depressed,
you call your mother.

1:16:31
You get your ass whipped,
first you call home.

1:16:33
I call my mother's house.
Because you wanna hear:

1:16:35
"lt's gonna be all right, baby.
lt's gonna be fine.

1:16:38
"You just come on home. Stop crying.
I'll cook you something to eat.

1:16:41
"I'll cook you one of them
big old hamburgers

1:16:43
"I used to make before.
You just come on home."

1:16:45
And you want that burger
when you get older.

1:16:47
I called my mother's house,
it was a Friday night,

1:16:50
the phone rang for a half-hour.
1:16:52
Which meant my pops was home, and
on the weekends, my pops gets drunk.

1:16:55
I was praying he wouldn't
answer the phone,

1:16:57
because I'm bleeding,
my lips are swollen,

1:16:59
people walking by going,
"Jimmie Walker."


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