:05:02
I damn near busted a gut laughin' at
him. And the troops, they love him.
:05:06
This is a tempest in a teacup...
:05:08
much ado about nothing.
:05:10
For crying out loud, man,
this isn't brain surgery.
:05:14
Don't get crazy over this, Dick.
We're only talking about a damn deejay.
:05:18
Sir, there is no such thing as "only"
any more. Not now. Not in Saigon.
:05:24
Lieutenant Steven Hauk
is our immediate supervisor.
:05:27
He's a little goofy,
but he's okay.
:05:29
Sergeant Major Dickerson...
That's another story altogether.
:05:33
He was a commander
of an elite special forces unit.
:05:36
He came to us because
of "prostrate" problems...
:05:38
and some sort of social infection
that doesn't go away.
:05:41
Plus, I think he got shot in the ass,
but I can't confirm that.
:05:45
Anyway, he's the man
that you don't want to aggravate.
:05:48
- Ed, are you always this happy?
- Cronauer!
:05:51
- Sir!
- At ease. I'm General Taylor.
:05:54
- Hiya, General.
- A real pleasure.
:05:56
Listen, if you have any problems
here now, you come see me.
:05:59
I'm the tallest hog
in the trough around here.
:06:03
- Garlick, have you put on some weight?
- I don't think so, sir.
:06:05
Why, son, the shadow
of your ass'd weigh 20 pounds.
:06:09
I'll work on that, sir.
You're not supposed to address
the general saying "hiya."
:06:13
- What's that, a new rule?
- No, old rule.
:06:21
- That's Lieutenant Hauk in there.
- Who's the guy with the ears?
:06:24
How're you doin'?
You could fly to Guam with those.
:06:28
Uh, Airman Cronauer, sir.
:06:31
You know, i-it wouldn't kill you people
to salute me once in a while.
:06:35
- Sorry.
- Thanks.
:06:38
I understand you're pretty funny
as a deejay, and...
:06:40
well, comedy
is a kind of hobby of mine.
:06:43
Well... Well, actually, it's
a little more than just a hobby.
:06:47
Reader's Digest is considering
publishing two of my jokes.
:06:50
- Really?
- Yeah.
:06:52
And perhaps some night we could
maybe get together and swap
humorous stories for-for fun.
:06:57
Oh, why not? Maybe play a couple
of Tennessee Ernie Ford records.
That'd be a hoot.