:56:02
but I think I'd like to delve into
something slightly more personal
for the men in the field.
:56:06
How would you describe
your testicles?
:56:08
- That they're soft, that they're
shallow, that they have no purpose.
- Oh, my God.
:56:11
- What are you saying, sir?
- Oh, my God.
- That they lack the physical strength.
:56:15
- How would you describe
your sex life with your wife Pat?
- Uh, it is unexciting sometimes.
:56:20
Well, have you considered possibly
a sex change? There is an operation
that can transform you...
:56:23
- Please don't do this to me.
Please don't do this to me.
- Into a female Great Dane
or possibly a very well-hung Chihuahua.
:56:27
Mr Nixon, while you've been in Vietnam,
it's rumoured that you smoked marijuana.
:56:31
Are you planning, sir, to
take some of the marijuana home,
back to the United States?
:56:35
- How would you do that?
- By plane...
:56:36
by helicopter
and also by automobile.
:56:40
I was wondering if you could do your
Mr Ed, because I know people love that.
:56:43
Cut that thing off.
I said cut it off!
:56:46
- Sir.
- Where is Cronauer?
:56:49
- Still eating, sir.
- I want to see him ASAP.
:56:53
- What, sir?
- As soon as possible.
:56:57
- VG, sir.
- We interrupt this broadcast...
:56:59
to bring you an emergency selection
of the Benny Goodman Orchestra.
:57:02
We simply need to consider
taking him off the air.
:57:05
Lieutenant, we get hundreds,
maybe thousands of calls
and letters each week. Fan mail.
:57:10
He's the first man in the history
of Armed Forces Radio to get fan mail.
:57:14
Every GI in this country
is glued to his radio twice a day...
:57:17
at 0600 hours and 1600 hours
to hear that lunatic.
:57:21
Sir, the man has got
an irreverent tendency.
:57:24
He did a very off-colour
parody of former VP Nixon.
:57:28
- I thought it was hilarious.
- Respectfully, sir...
:57:31
the former V.P. Is a good man
and a decent man.
:57:34
Bullshit!
I know Nixon personally.
:57:37
He lugs a trainload of shit behind him
that would fertilize the Sinai.
:57:41
Why, I wouldn't buy an apple from
the son of a bitch, and I consider
him a good, close, personal friend.
:57:45
Let's get down to business here,
General. What the hell's goin' on here?
:57:48
We've got a mounting crisis
in this country. We've got
a deejay that the men dearly love.
:57:52
If you two have personal problems,
solve them, will you?
:57:55
Thank you, Lieutenant.