:01:01
We need a label
brimming with health.
:01:04
And everything from a nosh pot
to a white sliced...
:01:07
will wear one with pride.
:01:10
I'm aware of the difficulties
of coming to terms with this.
:01:13
It must be appreciated
from the beginning...
:01:16
that even the nosh pot
must be low in something.
:01:20
And if it isn't, it must be high
in something else.
:01:23
And that is its
health-giving ingredient...
:01:27
we will sell.
:01:29
Which brings me
to my final question:
:01:32
Who are we trying
to sell this to?
:01:34
Answer: We are trying
to sell this...
:01:37
to the archetypal
average housewife,
:01:39
she who fills her basket.
:01:42
What you have here
is a 22-year-old pretty girl.
:01:45
What you need is a taut slob,
:01:48
something on foot deodorizers
in a brassiere.
:01:51
I'm not quite
sure we can go along with that.
:01:54
If you look at
the market research...
:01:56
I don't need to look
at the market research.
:01:59
I've lived with 13-and-a-half
million housewives for 15 years.
:02:02
I know everything about them.
She's 37 years old.
:02:05
She has 2.3 children,
1.6 of which will be giris.
:02:08
She uses 16 feet, 6 inches
of toilet tissue a week...
:02:11
and fucks no more
than 4.2 times a month.
:02:14
She has seven radiators
and is worried about her weight,
:02:17
which is why we have her
on a diet.
:02:19
And because we have her on
a diet, we also encourage her...
:02:22
to reward herself with little
treats, and she deserves them.
:02:25
Because anyone existing
on 1200 calories...
:02:28
of artificial, synthetic,
orange-flavored waffle a day...
:02:31
deserves a little treat.
:02:33
"We know it's naughty,
but you do deserve it.
:02:35
Go on, darling,
swallow a bun."
:02:38
And she does.
:02:39
And the instant she does,
the guilt cuts in.
:02:42
So here we are again
with our diet.
:02:45
It's a vicious,
but quite wonderful circle,
:02:48
and it adheres
to only one rule:
:02:50
"Whatever it is, sell it."
:02:52
If you want to stay
in advertising,
:02:55
by God you'd better learn that.
:02:58
Bagley, it's not in my nature
to be a pain in the ass.