:14:02
Union.
:14:03
It's been going on for over 30 years.
:14:05
We've been on the moon since the '50s.
:14:08
You wanna know how we got there, right?
:14:10
I'll tell you.
:14:12
Anti-grav drive. Anti-gravity technology.
:14:14
We stole it from the Nazis after the end of World War II. It's perfectly obvious.
:14:18
And you know, I was watching this Late, Late Show.
:14:20
A lot of truth in the Late, Late Show. You know, they slip it through
:14:23
there, they figure nobody's watching, but -
:14:24
Anyway, there's this sci-fi movie called Alternative Three.
:14:27
And, uh, it's about kidnapping people, using a little psycho-surgery on
:14:30
them...
:14:31
and, uh, turn them into zombies.
:14:33
And making them colonize the moon and Mars.
:14:36
Funny, huh?
:14:39
Except it's absolutely true, all of it.
:14:42
We've been on Mars since '62.
:14:45
It was May 22nd. That's a very important date for you to remember, pal.
:14:48
- Yeah, that's my birthday. - Right. So, see...
:14:52
the reason we're up there covertly is because of the greenhouse effect.
:14:54
It all ties in. Yeah, greenhouse effect.
:14:56
By the way, they discovered that in the '40s.
:14:58
You can ask yourself what they've been doing sitting on their ass for 49 years,
:15:00
huh?
:15:01
While we're out here with some serious social diseases and everything
:15:03
else.
:15:04
Oh, never mind that. Everybody says...
:15:06
"Greenhouse effect. A hundred years from now.
:15:08
Oh, I'll be long dead, gone and out of here. "
:15:11
Not so, my friend. Not so.
:15:12
The government's sitting on the fact that it's 10-20 years maximum.
:15:15
It's getting hotter, don't you think?
:15:17
Yeah, it's not even summer yet.
:15:19
Yeah, and when the polar ice caps begin to melt...
:15:21
it's not gonna take a certified genius to understand that we're in
:15:24
serious global confusion.
:15:25
I mean, really, we're in massive mainline ecological chaos.
:15:28
Anyway, it's happening even as we speak.
:15:31
So, I'll tell you what they've already done.
:15:33
They've colonized outer space.
:15:35
Oh, they couldn't colonize everybody. No, no.
:15:37
That would be global bankruptcy.
:15:39
We couldn't beat the greenhouse effect anyway.
:15:41
This secret group, you know, the group that's in charge of the government -
:15:45
Oh, yeah. They're gonna get boosted off this rock before it melts.
:15:49
And the rest of us, what do they care?
:15:51
We're gonna be left here to fry.
:15:53
By the way, there's something you should know.
:15:56
You see, this entire operation's being funded...
:15:58
by the profits from the Medellín drug cartel.