Noises Off...
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:03:04
at the dress rehearsal,
as soon as the curtain went up.

:03:08
As soon as the damned phone rang
and Dotty came on with the sardines.

:03:15
Hold on! Hold your horses!
:03:20
Oh, Lord love a duck!
Shut up! I'm on my way.

:03:24
It's no good you going on. I can't
open sardines and answer the phone.

:03:30
I've only got one pair of feet. Hello?
:03:33
Yes, but there's no one here, love...
No, Mr Brent's not here.

:03:38
He lives here, yes, but not now
because he lives in Spain.

:03:42
Yes, Philip Brent, who writes plays,
only now he writes them in Spain.

:03:47
She's in Spain, too. They all are.
:03:50
Am I in Spain? No, I'm not in Spain.
I look after the house for them.

:03:55
Only I go home at one on Wednesdays,
so that's where I am.

:03:59
No, because I've got a nice plate
of sardines to put my feet up with.

:04:04
And they've got colour here, and it's
the Royal...you know, the horse race.

:04:09
Where's the paper?
:04:11
If it's about letting the house,
you'll have to ring the house agents.

:04:17
Squire, Squire, Hackham and...
Who's the other one?

:04:21
No, they're next to the phone
in the study.

:04:24
Squire, Squire, Hackham and...
Hold on! I'll go and look.

:04:29
As soon as you take
the weight off your feet,

:04:32
down it all comes on your head.
:04:35
And I take the sardines...
No, I leave the sardines...

:04:39
No, I take the sardines.
:04:41
You leave the sardines
and you hang up the phone.

:04:45
Yes, right. I hang up the phone.
:04:49
- And you leave the sardines.
- I leave the sardines?

:04:53
You leave the sardines.
:04:56
I hang up the phone
and I leave the sardines?


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