The Muppet Christmas Carol
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:11:01
every idiot who goes about
with "Merry Christmas" on his lips...

:11:04
would be cooked with his own turkey
and buried...

:11:07
- With a stake of holly through his heart.
- Well. Not quite speechless.

:11:10
- Oh. Uncle!
- Nephew...

:11:12
you keep Christmas in your own way
and let me keep it in mine.

:11:16
Christmas is a loving.
honest and charitable time.

:11:20
And though it's never put a scrap
of gold or silver in my pocket...

:11:23
I believe that Christmas has
done me good and will do me good...

:11:25
and I say. God bless it!
:11:28
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!
:11:29
And how does one celebrate Christmas
on the unemployment line?

:11:35
Now. In these times. It was customary
on Christmas Eve...

:11:38
for well-meaning gentlemen
to call upon businesses...

:11:40
collecting donations
for the poor and homeless.

:11:45
Mr Scrooge. I presume?
:11:49
Who are you?
:11:51
We're from the Order of Victoria
Charity Foundation.

:11:54
We'd like to speak to you
about a donation.

:11:57
Ah. Welcome! This jolly old
gentleman here is Mr Scrooge.

:12:01
- He's very generous to charities.
- My dear nephew!

:12:04
At this festive season
of the year. Mr Scrooge...

:12:08
many of us feel that we must take care
of our poor and homeless.

:12:12
And are there no prisons?
No poorhouses?

:12:15
Oh. Plenty of those. Sir.
:12:17
Oh! Excellent!
For a moment. I was worried.

:12:20
Some of us are endeavouring to raise
a fund for the poor and the homeless.

:12:25
What might I put you down for?
:12:27
- Nothing.
- You wish to remain anonymous?

:12:29
I wish to be left alone.
:12:32
I do not make merry
myself at Christmas.

:12:34
- That certainly is true.
- And I cannot afford
to make idle people merry.

:12:37
That is certainly not true.
:12:39
Don't you have other things to do
this afternoon. My dear nephew?

:12:41
Sadly. I do. Uncle.
So I shall make my donation...

:12:45
and leave you to make yours.
:12:47
Thank you so very much.
:12:49
Oh. Uncle. Come and have Christmas
dinner with me and Clara tomorrow.

:12:53
- Why ever did you get married?
- Why? Because I fell in love.

:12:59
That's the only thing in the world
sillier than a merry Christmas.


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