Cabin Boy

[ Captain Groaning ]
Listen up, you doozy-lookin'
deuce in shoes!

We're out here for the next
three months to catch us some fish!

So, unless you wanna end up
as bait, stay outta my face!

Don't you walk away from me,
you big talking walrus!

This issue is not negotiable.
- I hate this.
- [ Gasps ]

- [ Laughing ]
- My christening wig!

I've had it since infancy.
Well, you ain't got it
no more, peckerhead.

[ All Laughing ]
There, by the grace of God,
floats away my manhood.

Simply put, a five-pound box of
chocolate-covered macadamia nuts
is yours...

if you'll point this swill heap
towards Hawaii, comprende?

Sorry,, I'll have to pass.
These stockings I'm wearing
are made of pure imported silk
from the mountains of Bennenia.

- They're yours if you get me to Hawaii.
- Yeah?

These socks I'm wearin' are pure wool
and they've been on my feet
for three straight weeks.

And if you don't blow,
you're gonna swallow them
like an aspirin.

If my poor daddy doesn't hear
from me soon, there's no telling
what he might do.

[ Crying ] I'm afraid
he'll become despondent
and turn a pistol upon himself.

Hey, you wanna learn
a little fisherman's Greek?

- [ Chuckling ]
- Oh.

""Gadinga pachinga castinga.''
That means ""I kissed a girl.''

[ Laughing ]
""Patuka cachuka stabuka.''
That means,
""I felt up a girl's ass.''

- [ Laughing ]
- All right. Fine.

""Katinka kawinka kalinka.''
You know what that means.

- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.

Is there not one person on this boat
who's not monstrously insane?

Oooh, it's maddening.
I'm at my wit's end. I can't take it--

[ Chuckling ]