Cabin Boy

- They're yours if you get me to Hawaii.
- Yeah?

These socks I'm wearin' are pure wool
and they've been on my feet
for three straight weeks.

And if you don't blow,
you're gonna swallow them
like an aspirin.

If my poor daddy doesn't hear
from me soon, there's no telling
what he might do.

[ Crying ] I'm afraid
he'll become despondent
and turn a pistol upon himself.

Hey, you wanna learn
a little fisherman's Greek?

- [ Chuckling ]
- Oh.

""Gadinga pachinga castinga.''
That means ""I kissed a girl.''

[ Laughing ]
""Patuka cachuka stabuka.''
That means,
""I felt up a girl's ass.''

- [ Laughing ]
- All right. Fine.

""Katinka kawinka kalinka.''
You know what that means.

- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.

Is there not one person on this boat
who's not monstrously insane?

Oooh, it's maddening.
I'm at my wit's end. I can't take it--

[ Chuckling ]
[ Men Laughing ]
[ Rattling ]
I can't say as I blame you,
standing by yourself.

There's no such thing as
pleasant companionship
on this tawdry vessel.

Sorry,, but I ain't supposed to
talk to nobody while I'm on watch.

Captain Greybar says I got
the attention span of a circus monkey.

I don't think your Capt. Greybar
is qualified to cast aspersions
on the character of others.

I don't speak Spanish.

Pardon me, I seem
to have forgotten your name.

Kenneth, uh...
your captain has been under
a great deal of stress recently
and he's in need of a holiday.