Cabin Boy

Huh? What the--
- [ Grunts ]
- What the hell are you doing?

Thank heavens. There's still some life
left in her after all. Thank you, Lord.
I owe you one.

Uh... here.

Aaah, geez.
You idiot! Do you know
what you just did?

- You just ruined my chance
at setting a world's record.
- [ Deep Voice ] Say what?

I was swimming around the world,
Maryland to Maryland.

And I was halfway there
until you blew the whole thing!

No, you were just lying there
like a rat in a swimming pool--

I was sleeping!
And by you yanking me onto
this floating Dumpster,

I violated one of the rules set forth
by the World's Record committee.

""At no time shall a swimmer's body
come in contact with anything solid.''

Yeah, okay. But technically,
I'm not solid. My texture's
much more like moist bread.

Shit. I knew it was bad luck
to swim through Hell's Bucket.

Oh, look, you have a hard
piece of seaweed stuck to you.
Let me just pull it.

- Relax. [ Gasps ] My wig!
- Take your hands off me.

Faith has truly
brought us together.

-Just... stay the hell away from me.
- Oooh.

Attentionne, messieurs.
Please join me on the upper deck.
I have a little surprise for you.

Come on, fellas. Looky what
I fished out of the ocean.

That's one little cute fishy
this cabin boy done caught hisself.

Aw, not bad. I'd do it.
Where in the hell
did you come from, missy?

The last thing we need
is another straggler.

First of all, I was minding
my own business until your son
yanked me up here.

And secondly, don't you call me
missy again unless you wanna
lose the rest of your teeth.

Sassy little thing, ain't she?
Want me to give her a spanking?

- [ Men Laughing ]
- I'd like her to give me a spanking.

- How'd you like me
to put my foot up your ass?
- [ Men Laughing ]