Quiz Show

NBC owns our company.
Everything goes through them.

NBC bought your company for
two million bucks. What about me ?

People watched me on that show. Look.
Look. Look at this.

- Oh, Herb, don't start--
- ''He has become a friend
in over 50 million homes,

whose weekly visits the whole family
eagerly anticipates.''

- l was a friend, too,
in 50 million homes.
- Look, what can l tell you, Herb ?

- Life is unfair.
- Life is unfair to me.

Life's not unfair
to Charles Van Doren.

Remember how he snubbed me
after the show ?

- There'll be other shows.
- What other shows ?
l need the money, Dan.

Wha-- What ?
How could you need the money ?

lt's gone. l mean it's invested.
lt's tied up. lt's--

- Well, can't you talk to your broker ?
- He's not a broker.

He's more of a bookmaker.
lt's seed money.

He's setting up in Florida right now.
He says it's the next growth area.

You gave your money
to a bookie who skipped town ?

l-l want what l have coming, Dan.
l have to get back on television.

-Herb, l'm gonna--
-Show me this list. Where's this list ?

[ Sighs ]
l submitted a list of 45 names.

They rejected three.
You were one of them.

That big uncircumcised putz is
on the cover of Time magazine,

and l can't even make
the top 42 for a panel show.

Look, maybe you could warm up
the audience before the show.

- l could throw you 50 bucks a week.
- Fifty bucks a week ?

That should be me
on the cover of Time.

- Shit, Herb, just sign the statement.
- Charles Van Doren.

He wouldn't know the answer to
a doorbell if you didn't give it to him.

Sign the statement,
and get on with your life !

Sign the statement, Herb. Sign
the statement. Who cares if it's true ?

- l'm giving you a chance.
- You promised me !

You get me that panel show,
or l'm gonna bring you down
with me, ya lousy, lyin' prick !

- You and Charles Van fuckin' Doren !
- No, you're not.

l'll just tell everyone that it's
a fraud. That'll warm 'em up.

- ''The fix is in,
this week on Twenty-One.''
- When's my next appointment ?

The cover of Time ? His mug shot
will be on the cover of Time !

What the hell
happened ?

[ Sighs ]

Why am l the only one
workin' this mornin' ?

- You got here earlier, Mooie.
- ''Demonstrators stoned Vice
President Nixon's motorcade...

as it proceeded
through Caracas.''

- Gee, Dick, what's the New York
Times say ? Same thing ?
- Generally.