Tommy Boy

You know how to do that, like your dad.
He knew what people wanted to hear
and what people needed to hear.

That's what selling is about. The people
are buying you, not just brake pads.

Hey, everybody, it's Tony Robbins.
- Maybe you're right.
- I think I am.

Look at this guy. Caught him right after
Thanksgiving. I need a pooper-scooper.

I like your line, and I like your prices.
But there's a problem.

There's no guarantee on the box.
If something breaks down you can call
me, even if I'm home watching TV.

Callahan has guaranteed
every part sold since 1925.

Maybe so, but it's not on the box.
It should always be on the box,

comforting you, calling out
"I'll never let you down. "

"But if I do,
I'm gonna make things all better. "

Our brake pads are made
with non-corrosive...

Son, my customers need to see that
little label looking 'em right in the eye.

Hey, you can get a good look
at your butcher...

- Remember, chicken wings.
- Chicken wings?

- All right, about guarantees...
- Fellas, you just ran out of time.

Chicken wings.
Let's think about this for a sec, Ted.
Why would somebody put
a guarantee on a box?

- Very interesting.
- Go on, I'm listening.

The way I see it, Ted,
a guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box

cos he wants you to feel
all warm and toasty inside.

- Yeah. Makes a man feel good.
- Of course it does. Why shouldn't it?

Put that box under your pillow at night,
the Guarantee Fairy might come by
and leave a quarter. Am I right, Ted?

What's your point?
The point is, how do you know
the fairy isn't a crazy glue-sniffer?

He sneaks into your house once.
That's all it takes.

Next thing, there's money missing
and your daughter's knocked up.

Why do they put a guarantee
on the box, then?