Happy Gilmore
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:02:07
I was nervous,
since I didn´t know her that weII.

:02:11
She dressed Iike Gene Simmons
from KISS to cheer me up.

:02:15
She´s the sweetest person
in the worId.

:02:21
After my dad died,
I deveIoped a short fuse.

:02:24
That kid stoIe my party bIower.
:02:26
Instead of asking for it back,
I hit him in the head repeatedIy...

:02:30
with a hammer.
:02:32
Most of the time, I was quick to say
I was sorry.

:02:37
Years Iater, I pIayed junior hockey
and stiII hoId two Ieague records...

:02:41
...most time spent
in a penaIty box...

:02:43
...and I was the onIy guy to ever try
to stab someone with his skates.

:02:48
After I graduated, I had
a Iot of different jobs.

:02:52
I was a road worker...
:02:55
...a janitor...
:03:00
...a security guard...
:03:06
...a gas station attendant...
:03:11
...and a pIumber.
:03:14
LateIy, I´ve been working
construction. It´s not bad.

:03:18
I´m a good shot
with a naiI gun.

:03:20
But one day my boss, Mr. Larson,
got in the way.

:03:25
ApparentIy, he aIso has a short fuse.
Look at the monster.

:03:30
He got in a few Iucky punches,
but I feeI I won the fight.

:03:34
Anyway, those jobs
weren´t for me.

:03:36
I was put on this pIanet
for one reason--to pIay hockey.

:03:41
It´s my puck, baby!
Don´t you ever touch my puck!

:03:45
Is that GiImore again?
How many times has he tried out?

:03:50
At Ieast ten times.
:03:52
He has a Iot of intensity.
:03:56
Not a strong skater, though.
:03:57
Nor the best puck handIer.

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