1:09:02
- Yeah!
- He'll come up with his best plan ever.
1:09:06
Listen, I pity Major Thorn.
When Bilko gets done with him...
1:09:10
- (Doberman) Sarge!
- Ten-hut!
1:09:13
Hey, Sarge!
1:09:15
- Sarge!
- Sarge! You've come back!
1:09:19
Ah, Doberman. The son I never wanted.
1:09:23
Fall in and look this way!
1:09:29
Hello, soldiers.
1:09:32
I'm talking to you.
Because that's what you are really.
1:09:36
Soldiers, every last one of you -
with a couple of exceptions.
1:09:39
- He's got a plan.
- He sure does.
1:09:41
I wanna tell you a little story.
There was once a little boy...
1:09:45
...and that little boy had a dream to run
one of the most sophisticated...
1:09:48
...illegal gaming operations
the US Army has ever seen.
1:09:52
- He's not worried.
- Not a bit.
1:09:53
And that little boy's dream came true.
1:09:55
But now they're trying to
snatch that dream back from him.
1:09:59
- He is worried.
- That's not good.
1:10:01
But what are the last two letters
in the name Bilko? K-O!
1:10:04
Of course, the first are B-l-L,
which is meaningless.
1:10:07
But still, am I giving up? No! Never!
Well, kind of, but not really...
1:10:11
...because there is no way
I am going to Greenland.
1:10:14
Well, you're probably wondering
if I have a plan.
1:10:17
Well, of course I have a plan!
A P-L-A-N. Plan.
1:10:25
But...
1:10:28
- He's got no plan.
- We're screwed.
1:10:29
- I have a plan, Sarge.
- But maybe a plan is not what I need!
1:10:33
What I really need is just a little puppy.
1:10:37
A little puppy with big, brown eyes
who'll just come to me and lick my face...
1:10:41
...and just love me so much,
no matter what kind of person I am.
1:10:45
(Bilko sobs)
1:10:46
Sarge, I really do have a plan.
1:10:49
Oh, so now you have a plan.
Well, let's hear your plan, Wally.
1:10:54
What if the hovertank did work? That'd
prove you haven't diverted the money.
1:10:58
Oh! That is so stup... What?