:11:00
Do the Garden Staters have
to sprint to the Lincoln Tunnel,
:11:03
or can you stay for a round
in the big, scary city ?
:11:06
- We're gonna go--
- We'll take--
:11:10
We'll go.
:11:16
Archie. All right ?
:11:18
Archie and the Riverdale gang were
a pure and fun-loving bunch.
:11:21
You can't find dysfunction in those
comics. They were flat-out wholesome.
:11:25
- Archie and Jughead were lovers.
- Shut the fuck up !
:11:28
It's true. Archie was the bitch,
and Jughead was the butch.
:11:33
That's why Jughead wears
that crown-looking hat all the time.
:11:36
He the king of
Queen Archie's world.
:11:39
Man, I feel
a hate crime coming on.
:11:41
Well, you know,
he does have a point.
:11:44
I mean, Archie never did quite
settle on Betty or Veronica.
:11:46
'Cause he wanted them both
at the same time, you assholes !
:11:49
He didn't choose one, because he was
trying to get them into a three-way.
:11:52
- Here.
- What ?
:11:56
I want you to go down to the corner
store and buy yourself a clue.
:12:00
- Go on.
- Eat it, Urkel.
:12:02
Uh ! I done told you to
watch it with that Urkel shit.
:12:06
Face it, girl.
Archie's a sister.
:12:11
- That's it. You !
- Moi ?
:12:16
Yeah, you. You are marching
back across the street with me,
:12:20
and we're gonna pick up
a shitload of Archie books.
:12:22
And I'm going to prove to you
beyond the shadow of a doubt...
:12:25
that Archie
is all about pussy.
:12:28
- Come on !
:12:30
This boy is conflicted.
:12:34
I shall play
mother therapist for him.
:12:36
You two sit tight.
We shall return promptly.
:12:43
Is he always like that ?
:12:45
Who, him ? Yeah.
Ever since the third grade.
:12:48
This, uh, this nun was teaching us
about the Blessed Trinity, you know ?
:12:52
She was going on and on about
the three persons in one God thing.
:12:55
Father, Son,
the Holy Spirit.
:12:57
Banky just goes ballistic on her.
They got in this huge fight.