I Know What You Did Last Summer

No, the guy's been hung from a tree.
His feet are scratching the roof.

No, he's been decapitated,
and the blood's dripping on the car.

No, he wasn't decapitated,
he was gutted with a hook.

- That's the way I heard it.
- You're all wrong.

They get to the girl's house and
find a bloody hook in the car door.

That's the original story.
That's the way it really happened.

None of it really happened.
It's a bullshit story.

- No. It's not. It's true.
- I don't think so, Ray.

It's a fictional story to warn girls
of the dangers of premarital sex.

You know how terrified I am of
your I.Q., but it's an urban legend.

And they all originate from
some sort of real-life incident.

By that time I'll be finishing my
two-year deal on "Guiding Light", -

- coinciding with your first year
as quarterback for the Steelers.

Then we can elope to Europe
or the Caymans, -

- where I'll let you impregnate me
with the first of three children. -

- before you head off to rehab.
Then we can live happily...
blah. Blah. Blah.

Ray? Where did you go?
I'm gonna hook you!