:12:01
Oh, so you know that
:12:03
They were trying
to piss on your rug?
:12:05
Did I urinate
on your rug?
:12:07
You mean, did you
personally come
:12:09
and pee on my rug?
:12:10
Hello! Do you
speak English, son?
:12:11
Parla usted ingles?
:12:13
I'll ask you again.
Did I urinate on your rug?
:12:16
No, like I said,
Woo peed on my rug.
:12:19
I just want to
understand this, sir.
:12:21
Every time a rug
is micturated upon
:12:23
In this fair city, I have
to compensate the person
:12:26
Come on, man,
:12:28
I'm not trying
io scam anybody here.
:12:30
..you know,
I.. was just
:12:32
You were just
looking for a handout
:12:33
like every other...
:12:35
Are you employed,
Mr. Lebowski?
:12:38
Uh, wait, let me
:12:40
let me explain
something to you.
:12:42
I am not Mr. Lebowski.
You're Mr. Lebowski.
:12:45
I'm The Dude. So that's
what you call me,
:12:47
You know, that
or, his Dudeness,
:12:51
Or, Duder, or, you
know, el Duderino,
:12:54
If you're not into
the whole brevity thing.
:12:56
Are you employed, sir?
:12:59
Employed?
:13:02
You don't go out
looking for a job
:13:04
dressed like that,
do you, on a weekday?
:13:06
Is this a..
what day is this?
:13:09
Well, I do work, sir.
:13:11
So if you don't mind
:13:12
No, I do mind.
:13:14
Uh, The Dude minds.
:13:15
This will not stand,
you know.
:13:17
This aggression
will not stand, man.
:13:19
I mean, your wife owes
:13:21
My wife is not
the issue here!
:13:24
I hope that
someday my wife
:13:26
will learn to live
on her allowance,
:13:28
which is ample,
but if she does not,
:13:30
that is her problem,
not mine,
:13:31
just as the rug
is your problem,
:13:33
just as every bum's
lot in life
:13:35
is his own
responsibility,
:13:37
regardless of who
he chooses to blame.
:13:39
I didn't blame anyone
for the loss of my legs.
:13:43
Some chinaman took them
from me in Korea.
:13:45
But I went out
and achieved anyway.
:13:49
I cannot solve
your problems, sir,
:13:51
only you can.
:13:54
Oh, fuck it.
:13:56
Yes, that's your answer.
:13:58
That's your answer
to everything.
:13:59
Tattoo it
on your forehead.