Zero Effect

Years ago, when I first
came into his employ...

...he was contracted to find a man.
I can't give much detail...
...but believe me, if this man
had not been located...

...our country's good diplomacy
with a certain economic superpower...

...might have a different face today.
Federal, state, local authorities
all over the world...

...searched for a face whose
significance they couldn't fathom.

He'd vanished without a trace.
On the 8th morning, a non-political
third party contacted me...

...with an unrelated private agenda.
My employer had never heard of this
missing man, knew nothing about him.

After just one hour of desk work...
...just an hour after accepting
the case...

...he picked up the telephone
and placed a call.

Guess who answered the phone.
The missing man.
The man with the mismatched shoelaces.
Without ever leaving the house.
I'm telling you, he never even...
...leaves the house, okay?
I mean, he's like some kind of recluse.
A complete freak.
No social life.
In fact, no social skills.
Fucking strange. When he works...
...the smoothest operator you've seen.
Brave, slick...
:04:18 anything.
Soon as he gets off work...
:04:23's all gone.
Afraid to go to the dry cleaners.
Too uncomfortable in his own skin
to go out and eat.

...and inept.
Rude too.
Just an asshole.

You could meet him 5 times
and not realize it's the same person.

He can tell you where you were born,
how old your mother was at the time...

...and what you had for breakfast,
all within 30 seconds of meeting you.

He can get a criminal to confess without
his realizing he's being questioned.