American Pie
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:01:02
- There's-- There's this nature
show that I'm trying to watch. - [ Man On TV ] Take it off.

:01:05
- And the birds are
all scrambled and I can't even-- - [ Woman On TV ] Do me ! Yes !

:01:09
- [ Jimmy Groans ]
- Baby ! Ride me like a pony !

:01:12
- The thing must be broken or I
sat on the remote or something. - [ Moans Continue ]

:01:15
- Getting ready for bed, son ?
- Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set.

:01:18
- Yeah ?
- No ! No, I think he's tried to watch some illegal channels.

:01:21
- Illegal-- Illegal channels ?
- This is just bad reception, honey.

:01:24
-[ Man On TV ] Oh, spank my hairy ass !
-What's that ?

:01:26
- Ooh, baby !
- You know what ? Here. Just give me this, please--

:01:30
- Oh, my God !
- And let's get this-- Ohh !

:01:33
Okay, okay. Let's, uh-- What the hell's
the matter with this thing ?

:01:37
[ Woman On TV ] Yes !
:01:38
[ Woman On TV ] Yes !
:01:49
[ Boy ] Illegal channels ?
Shit !

:01:52
If there's any channel that
should be illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel.

:01:55
- Lifetime supply
of pantyhose or some shit. - Yeah.

:01:58
Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid
on TV the other night ?

:02:01
- No.
- Ariel, man. She's so hot !

:02:04
- Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
- She's a mermaid, dude.

:02:08
[ Boy ] Come on, Vicky, it's Stifler's
party. We got to go. It'll be great.

:02:12
[ Vicky ] Why ? All that
happens at Stifler's parties is people get drunk and do it.

:02:16
Yeah.
:02:18
[ Vicky ] Now, come on, Kevin.
Open it.

:02:20
It's a big, thick envelope, Vicky.
You got in.

:02:23
If you think so,
just open it.

:02:25
- Fine.
- ** [ Rock ]

:02:32
Hmm.
:02:34
"Dear Miss Latham: We're sorry but
after keeping you on the waiting list...

:02:38
for the past couple of months, we've
decided that you are now rejected."

:02:42
- Shut up !
- [ Both Giggling ]

:02:44
- You got in.
- [ Squeals ] Yes ! I love you !

:02:49
- -**-** [ Continuing ]
- [ Chuckling ] Okay.

:02:58
Hey, you think I should wear
this shirt to Stifler's party ?


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