American Pie
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:18:01
- I cannot believe this.
- Come on, guys.

:18:04
You know, we should
be happy for Sherman.

:18:08
[ Sighs ]
No, we shouldn't be.

:18:11
You know, I put in months
of quality time with Vicky.

:18:14
Sherman meets a chick
for one night and scores.

:18:16
- This is just wrong.
- No shit.

:18:19
How the hell am I supposed
to become Mr. Sensitive Man ?

:18:23
You know, we're all gonna go to college
as virgins. You realize this, right ?

:18:26
I mean, they probably have special dorms
for people like us.

:18:29
All right. I got an idea.
But it's got to stay between us.

:18:34
It's really simple. We just
got to make an agreement.

:18:36
Er, nah. It's--
It's more than an agreement.

:18:39
- What ? A bet ?
- A pact.

:18:41
No money involved.
More important than any bet.

:18:43
Here's the deal.
We all get laid before we graduate.

:18:49
Dude, it's not like I haven't
been trying to get laid.

:18:52
Think about when you work out, Oz.
You gotta have someone there, right ?

:18:55
Someone to spot you.
Someone to keep you motivated.

:18:57
Well, that's exactly what
we can do for each other.

:19:00
I mean, we'll be there
to keep each other on track.

:19:03
Separately, we are flawed
and vulnerable, but together,

:19:05
we are the masters
of our sexual destiny.

:19:07
Their tiger-style
kung fu is strong.

:19:09
But our dragon-style
will defeat it.

:19:11
- Guys !
- The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite !

:19:15
- Fight, and find out who is number one.
- Guys !

:19:18
Come on. You're ruining my moment here.
This is our very manhood at stake.

:19:22
We must make
a stand, here and now.

:19:26
No longer will our penises
remain flaccid and unused !

:19:30
We will fight for every man out there
who isn't getting laid and should be.

:19:34
This is our day.
This is our time.

:19:38
And, by God, we will not stand by and
watch history condemn us into celibacy.

:19:42
- Amen. Yes.
- I like that.

:19:44
-We will make a stand. We will succeed.
-'Bout time !

:19:48
- We will get laid !
- Yeah ! - Yeah !

:19:51
[ Cheering, Whooping ]
:19:52
Now, the sex: It's got
to be valid, consensual sex.

:19:56
- No prostitutes.
That's what you're thinkin', Finch. - [ Sucking Air ]


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