1:07:01
Your wife was a customer
of Antoine's, wasn't she?
1:07:03
That son of a bitch is goin' down.
And you're gonna join him!
1:07:09
How's that gonna fix
your marriage?
1:07:15
Look, I lost someone
that I love too.
1:07:20
You know why
she did this?
1:07:22
You wanna know why
she went outside our marriage?
1:07:26
It's because
of my dick, man.
1:07:28
I mean, that's the reason.
It's my dick.
1:07:31
Take it easy.
1:07:34
You're saying your wife cheated on you
because your penis is too small?
1:07:37
It's not too small. It's too thin,
okay? My dick is too thin.
1:07:42
- I've got a thin dick!
- Can you keep it down?
1:07:46
- I'd like to come back here someday.
- Everybody knows...
1:07:49
that it's width, width that
gives sexual gratification.
1:07:52
I've read it.
Cosmo, Redbook, you name it.
1:07:55
What am I supposed to do? I've got
the thinnest penis in the world! Here.
1:07:59
- It's like a Twizzler. Look!
- No, no, stop that.
1:08:02
Sit down!
Sit!
1:08:06
It's not your dick.
It's you.
1:08:09
I'm telling you now,
if you painted it silver...
1:08:12
and twisted it on the end,
it'd look like a kickstand.
1:08:15
If man-whoring
has taught me anything,
1:08:18
it's that most women are as unhappy
with their entire body...
1:08:21
as you are
with your small penis.
1:08:23
- Thin penis.
- Whatever.
1:08:26
- While you're worried about your penis,
- Thin penis.
1:08:29
women are worried
about their height,
1:08:32
their weight,
their giant feet,
1:08:35
the stream of obscenities that could
burst through their mouth at any second.
1:08:37
If you make a woman
feel good about herself,
1:08:41
it really doesn't matter
what's wrong with you.
1:08:46
Even if it's
really, really thin?
1:08:48
We're talkin'
spaghetti stick.
1:08:53
Tell you what.
1:08:55
Every time you're feeling self-conscious
about your thin dick,
1:08:59
say something nice to make
your woman feel sexy.