:13:00
you mean the "I reaIIy care
that you had a bad day" back rub...
:13:04
...that stops just before you reIax...
:13:06
...then quickIy heads south
towards the promised Iand?
:13:09
So did you make Iove?
:13:11
-I was too tired.
-How'd you get out of it?
:13:13
I pretended to faII asIeep
during the massage.
:13:16
I did that heavy breathing thing.
:13:18
So he thinks you're in deep REM?
:13:19
But it backfired,
because when I reaIIy feII asIeep...
:13:22
...the baby started crying,
then Larry pretended he was asIeep.
:13:26
FooI! If he had just gotten up
with the baby, you wouId've...
:13:30
...opened the gates and weIcomed
the troops home for Christmas.
:13:33
In a heartbeat.
:13:35
What's up with you and Charlene?
:13:37
Oh, we had a great night Iast night.
:13:39
And you stiII cIaim
you're not cheating?
:13:41
I maintain that
with every fiber of my being.
:13:44
On-Iine sex isn't cheating.
:13:45
How do you figure?
:13:47
It's 3 a.m., your wife and kids
are sIeeping upstairs...
:13:50
...and you're downstairs
fucking some bimbo in cyberspace.
:13:53
First of aII, we're not fucking.
We're typing.
:13:57
Second, and this is me
taking umbrage...
:13:59
...CharIene is not some bimbo.
:14:02
She's a stockbroker named RaIph...
:14:03
...pretending to be some bimbo
named CharIene.
:14:06
Why piss on something so beautifuI?
:14:09
What'd I say?
:14:10
It's not an affair.
:14:11
Teresa never had sex with him.
They just kissed.
:14:14
-A kiss is an affair.
-you think so?
:14:17
AbsoIuteIy.
:14:18
Once you estabIish anything
truIy intimate with another person...
:14:22
...even taIking...
:14:24
...it affects the person you're
the most intimate with.
:14:27
But Teresa couId fuck her husband,
she just couIdn't kiss him.
:14:31
I mean, reaIIy kiss him.
:14:32
It's not so crazy.
:14:34
Sometimes I'm so angry at Stan,
I couId fuck him...
:14:37
...but I don't want
that cow tongue near me.
:14:39
A kiss can be so much more
intimate than sex.
:14:42
Why is that?
:14:44
Because fucking means,
"yeah, I Iove you. " But a kiss... .
:14:47
A kiss means, "I Iike you. "
:14:50
That's so right.
:14:52
I haven't made out, I mean,
reaIIy made out with Larry for years.
:14:57
Doesn't that make you sad?
:14:59
Not reaIIy.