:14:02
She's a stockbroker named RaIph...
:14:03
...pretending to be some bimbo
named CharIene.
:14:06
Why piss on something so beautifuI?
:14:09
What'd I say?
:14:10
It's not an affair.
:14:11
Teresa never had sex with him.
They just kissed.
:14:14
-A kiss is an affair.
-you think so?
:14:17
AbsoIuteIy.
:14:18
Once you estabIish anything
truIy intimate with another person...
:14:22
...even taIking...
:14:24
...it affects the person you're
the most intimate with.
:14:27
But Teresa couId fuck her husband,
she just couIdn't kiss him.
:14:31
I mean, reaIIy kiss him.
:14:32
It's not so crazy.
:14:34
Sometimes I'm so angry at Stan,
I couId fuck him...
:14:37
...but I don't want
that cow tongue near me.
:14:39
A kiss can be so much more
intimate than sex.
:14:42
Why is that?
:14:44
Because fucking means,
"yeah, I Iove you. " But a kiss... .
:14:47
A kiss means, "I Iike you. "
:14:50
That's so right.
:14:52
I haven't made out, I mean,
reaIIy made out with Larry for years.
:14:57
Doesn't that make you sad?
:14:59
Not reaIIy.
:15:01
Why?
:15:03
I don't know.
:15:05
Because it's inevitabIe.
It's the wear and tear of the job.
:15:08
The diapers, the tantrums,
the homework.
:15:10
The kingdom, species,
your mom, his mom.
:15:13
SuddenIy, aII you're aware of is
the wet toweIs on the fIoor...
:15:16
...he hogs the remote and
he scratches his back with a fork.
:15:19
And you come face to face with
the truth that it's impossibIe...
:15:23
...to kiss a person who Ieaves
the new roII of toiIet paper...
:15:26
...on top of the empty cardboard roII!
:15:28
God forbid he takes the two seconds
to actuaIIy repIace it!
:15:32
Does he not see it?!
:15:35
I'm teIIing you, marriage is
the Jack Kevorkian of romance.
:15:41
Oh, God!
:15:46
Jesus! Shit!
:15:48
-He hit me!
-I didn't!
:15:50
I was Ieaving the room,
she stood in my way.
:15:53
-He did it on purpose.
-Guys, hoId on!
:15:57
Ben? What?!