:17:00
Goddamn it!
:17:02
Fantasizing isn't cheating?
:17:04
Oh, pIease! Who is getting hurt?
:17:07
yesterday, I met this
stunning bIond woman...
:17:10
...at the BeverIy Center food court.
:17:13
She had a IittIe ring
in the beIIybutton.
:17:16
But you know what?
:17:17
I forgave her because
it wasn't in her eyebrow or tongue.
:17:20
BeautifuI. We start chatting...
:17:22
...and we strike up a conversation,
waiting for our turkey.
:17:26
I'm teIIing you,
she's smiIing, I'm smiIing...
:17:28
...and just that
30-second encounter...
:17:31
...wiII do wonders for me when
I'm shaking hands with the sheriff.
:17:34
I know exactIy what
you're taIking about.
:17:37
-Am I wrong?
-No, you're right!
:17:39
The other day, I toId a joke
to this intriguing woman...
:17:42
...that I met at the cIeaners.
:17:44
If this were the '30s,
she'd be a Communist...
:17:47
...or at Ieast
a Communist sympathizer.
:17:49
But the point is, the way
she Iaughed at that joke...
:17:52
...reminded me of how RacheI
used to Iaugh at my jokes.
:17:55
you gonna foIIow up?
:17:57
I couId never do that.
:17:58
I think the Ten Commandments were
probabIy a Iot easier to stick to...
:18:03
...when you dropped dead at 35.
:18:05
I mean, we--
They shouId be amended.
:18:07
A IittIe amendment,
Iike the Constitution.
:18:09
"Thou shaIt not covet
thy neighbor's house, wife or ass.
:18:14
But if you have to covet
your neighbor's wife's ass...
:18:17
...don't do it
in thy neighbor's house. "
:18:19
A simpIe amendment, two-thirds
majority, sIide through both Houses.
:18:23
SeriousIy, name me one guy you know
who's never cheated on his wife.
:18:27
I wasn't cheating!
:18:29
I waIk into your office,
and I hear you teIIing some Sara...
:18:33
...intimate detaiIs about our
reIationship, about our probIems.
:18:37
ObviousIy there's something going on
between you and her.
:18:41
Nothing is going on between us!
We were just taIking!
:18:44
About us?! About our Iife?!
:18:46
We were just taIking!
:18:48
That's not taIking!
That's a reIationship!
:18:51
Why didn't you teII me about her
if there's nothing to hide?
:18:54
I just needed somebody to taIk to!
:18:56
BuIIshit! Why didn't you taIk to me?!