Keeping the Faith

You're in love with her?
No one seems to have picked up
on this. It's very strange.

I-- It's just-- I mean, she's like
your sister, Brian. It's--

Yes, thank you for adding
new depth to my confusion.

Damn it, Jake, you have a whole city
full of women, you know, at your feet.

You could go out
with anyone you want to.

Why did you have to go and hone in
on the first woman I've ever had
any real romantic feeling for?

Oh! Wait a minute!
Listen to what you're saying.

You're telling me that I should have
been sensitive to the possibility...

that a Catholic priest had a crush
on my secret girlfriend.

So what? So what? You know how much
I care about her, and you could have
guessed it would end up this way.

- I mean, you know yourself.
- I know myself? What does that mean?

You're always trying to have these
casual flings and relationships...

and it never works because the women
always fall in love with you...

-'cause you're so smart
and funny and cute and yada-yada...
- What are-- Hey. Hey! Hey!

- and you know it!
- Hey, don't put this all on me.

Why? Why? You could have had a fling
with anybody, Jake.

- Why did you have
to pull Anna into your bed?
- I didn't pull her into my bed.

I don't want to hear that.
I don't believe that.

Sorry. It's the truth. She's a woman.
She's not the Virgin Mary!

Um, let me get this straight.
I am talking to a priest...
who went on a bender
because his best friend, a rabbi...

stole his girl.
Thank you.
I want to thank you
for telling me this story.

- Why?
- Because now I can retire.

You have to give me advice. That's
what this is supposed to be about.

Oh, God.
What do I know?

I'm a ha If Punjabi Sikh...
one-quarter Tamil separatist.
My sister's married to
a Jewish doctor from New Jersey...