1:01:04
You drove rocket sleds
at the speed of sound.
1:01:08
- You're not afraid of anything.
- I've been afraid.
1:01:11
Oh, bullshit. When?
1:01:17
When I was 17 years old.
1:01:21
I was crazy in love
with this college girl.
1:01:25
She was beautiful. Oh, gorgeous.
1:01:28
And a ball of fire.
1:01:30
She, of course,
was crazy in love with--
1:01:33
- You.
- No.
1:01:34
Texas A&M's all-American defensive end
Scott LeBeau.
1:01:37
And I mean, this cat
was six-foot-six if he was a foot.
1:01:42
Gary Cooper handsome.
1:01:44
One day, a bunch of friends and I
decided we'd drink too much beer...
1:01:49
...and crash a big old
sorority cotillion.
1:01:52
You know, everybody's dressed up
in chiffon gowns and Daddy's tuxedo.
1:01:56
There we are, looking like a bunch
of brush poppers and goat ropers.
1:02:01
- At the governor's ranch too.
- I'm beginning to get the picture.
1:02:06
So my friends tell me that they see
LeBeau entering the Port-a-Potty.
1:02:10
One of them little old
fiberglass shithouses.
1:02:13
I did a better tackle on that
fiberglass shithouse...
1:02:16
...than he ever did
on the football field...
1:02:19
...and the thing rolled
down a bluff into a creek.
1:02:22
Screaming and yelling
all the way down...
1:02:25
...except it don't sound like no
all-American defensive end.
1:02:29
- It's decidedly more feminine.
- Oh, no, you didn't.
1:02:34
The love of my life, rolling down
the bluff in a fiberglass shithouse.
1:02:38
It was very, very sad.
1:02:42
- What happened then?
- I ran like hell.
1:02:45
- Joined the Air Force the next day.
- Afraid LeBeau'd kick your ass.
1:02:48
Well, hell, no.
I wasn't afraid of him.
1:02:51
I was afraid, I mean...
1:02:55
...truly afraid of her.
1:02:59
Are you afraid of me?