:59:01
- You.
- No.
:59:03
Texas A&M's all-American defensive end
Scott LeBeau.
:59:06
And I mean, this cat
was six-foot-six if he was a foot.
:59:10
Gary Cooper handsome.
:59:13
One day, a bunch of friends and I
decided we'd drink too much beer...
:59:17
...and crash a big old
sorority cotillion.
:59:20
You know, everybody's dressed up
in chiffon gowns and Daddy's tuxedo.
:59:24
There we are, looking like a bunch
of brush poppers and goat ropers.
:59:28
- At the governor's ranch too.
- I'm beginning to get the picture.
:59:33
So my friends tell me that they see
LeBeau entering the Port-a-Potty.
:59:38
One of them little old
fiberglass shithouses.
:59:40
I did a better tackle on that
fiberglass shithouse...
:59:43
...than he ever did
on the football field...
:59:46
...and the thing rolled
down a bluff into a creek.
:59:48
Screaming and yelling
all the way down...
:59:51
...except it don't sound like no
all-American defensive end.
:59:55
- It's decidedly more feminine.
- Oh, no, you didn't.
1:00:00
The love of my life, rolling down
the bluff in a fiberglass shithouse.
1:00:04
It was very, very sad.
1:00:08
- What happened then?
- I ran like hell.
1:00:10
- Joined the Air Force the next day.
- Afraid LeBeau'd kick your ass.
1:00:14
Well, hell, no.
I wasn't afraid of him.
1:00:17
I was afraid, I mean...
1:00:20
...truly afraid of her.
1:00:24
Are you afraid of me?
1:00:36
I married her.
1:00:39
Four years later.