Pipe it, toughie.
I don't need your bullshit advice.

Yeah, shut the fuck up.
He's right.
You should call her tonight.

Maybe we could all do something
together this week.

Don't get faggy on me.
I don't want your lame ass
ruining my chances on some clam.

I’m waiting a week.
I’d get the nice guy date
out of the way as soon as possible.

-The nice guy date?

The filler, to show her
what a nice guy you are.

So she lets you hit it on the next.
How many dates does it take
for you to bone?

lf I don't hit on the first,
which is rare, on the second.

But by rule, if I don't get it
on the third, I never call her.

Definitely not worth the time
after the third.

It always takes me a few months.
Come on, art boy.
Let's see what you got.

Did you bring your notepad?
Going to write down "Brad Dreams"?
"Brad Got Game"?
Trying to get a piece of me?

Pass the ball!
I’m ready. Bring it in!
-Why aren't you paying attention?
-I am paying attention.

Last night, I couldn't
get to sleep...

'cause Loraine was in the bed,
so I snuck down to the den

and ordered some
pay-per-view porn.

Why? It’s terrible.
It’s useless.

They don't show penetration.
I couldn't believe the size
of the breasts on these women.

They were like huge.
They were fake.
Those foam bags aren't real.
Come on.

A lot of pillows, propped up
straight, pointing north.