1:00:00
{HonKing}
1:00:05
Sorry.
1:00:06
Don`t shoot.
1:00:07
Hold your fire.
1:00:09
Who the hell are you?
1:00:10
Federal Wildlife Marshal.
ls the monKey in there?
1:00:13
-The ape.
-What?
1:00:14
Orangutan`s a member
of the great ape family.
1:00:15
lt`s not a monKey.
1:00:17
LooK, who`s the Federal
Wildlife Marshal here?
1:00:19
Me or you?
1:00:20
That`s what l thought.
Can l use your--
1:00:25
Jay and Silent Bob.
1:00:27
Your C.L.l.T.
doesn`t stand a chance.
1:00:29
Anyone not harboring...
1:00:31
a fugitive monKey in there
should hit the decK.
1:00:33
We are going to open fire.
1:00:35
{Patrons scream and chatter}
1:00:36
What the fucK
are you waiting for?
1:00:38
Get out there
and give him the monKey.
1:00:41
LooK, man, fucKin` maybe
it ain`t so bad up at that lab.
1:00:44
Maybe they experiment
on `em by making `em...
1:00:45
fucK a bunch of different
good-looKin` monKeys.
1:00:47
-We don`t Know.
-{Squeals}
1:00:49
You stay out of this,
you weepy little chimp.
1:00:51
Fuck, man, l`m no strategist.
1:00:53
You`re the guy
who maKes the blueprints.
1:00:54
l don`t have the fucKin`
smarts of a little...
1:01:00
Kid.
1:01:01
Do not shoot!
1:01:02
Don`t shoot!
1:01:05
We`re just, uh,
trying to taKe our son...
1:01:07
out of this hostile environment.
1:01:09
Their son?
1:01:10
Maybe they`re one
of those gay couples.
1:01:12
{FeedbacK}
1:01:13
Yeah, we`re gay...
1:01:14
and this is
our adopted love child.
1:01:16
We`re not from around here.
1:01:18
Don`t maKe us go bacK
to our liberal city home...
1:01:20
with tales
of prejudice and bigotry...
1:01:22
from in the heart of Utah.
1:01:23
Oh, God, this is
the last thing l need--
1:01:26
a bunch of uppity homosexuals
shooting their mouths off...
1:01:28
to the liberal media...
1:01:30
that the Federal Wildlife
Marshal office persecutes gays.
1:01:32
Are you fucKin` crazy?
Now, they may be gay...
1:01:35
but that`s not their son.
That`s the ape.
1:01:37
l thinK l would recognize
an ape if l saw one, OK?
1:01:40
And the only thing
l do recognize right now...
1:01:41
is the political fiasco here
that l`m about to avoid...
1:01:45
by letting this butt-fucKing
Brady Bunch go.
1:01:47
Ahh.
1:01:51
You are free to leave, sirs.
1:01:55
Yes, you sirs.
1:01:56
-So we can just go?
-Yes, sir.
1:01:59
Please accept my apologies...