:15:01
is not to have sex, remember?
:15:02
It's funny.
I didn't say a thing about sex.
:15:05
-Sure you did.
-No, I didn't.
:15:07
I guess thinking about sex
is part of the priestly thing.
:15:10
At least for some.
:15:11
-Get out.
-Fine.
:15:19
-Good morning, Matt.
-Morning, father.
:15:23
What's with the purple banners?
:15:25
Lent. Starts today.
:15:27
Going to be a long forty days
this year.
:15:30
I'm giving up my one vice--
:15:32
those precious little
madeleine cookies...
:15:35
dipped in a starbucks mocha.
:15:37
It's so hard giving up
what you love the most.
:15:45
I've got it! Jesus Christ,
John, I've got an answer!
:15:48
And the question is?
:15:50
-Nicole.
-Again?
:15:51
No sex for Lent--
for forty days.
:15:54
If I can do that,
then everything will be OK.
:15:56
That isn't what Lent is.
:15:57
Lent is about sacrifice
and growth through self-denial.
:16:00
Lent is to remember--
:16:01
How Christ felt
during the fast in the desert.
:16:04
I grew up in the same house
as you, moron.
:16:06
But when it comes down to it,
that's exactly what this is.
:16:08
This is growth,
this is self-denial...
:16:10
and this is sacrifice.
:16:13
Dude!
:16:16
It's not that simple, Matt.
Trust me.
:16:18
It is that...
:16:21
You're right.
:16:24
You're totally right.
:16:27
Sex alone is not enough.
:16:30
It has to be sex
and all things sex-like.
:16:32
You'll never be able to do that.
:16:34
Just listen, here's the plan.
:16:36
One--no sex.
:16:39
Two--
no sexual intimacy of any kind.
:16:41
No nibbling, no biting,
no scratching.
:16:44
"No sucking, no fondIing".
"None of that".
:16:47
"And three"...
:16:50
no masturbation.
:16:52
You won't last a week.
:16:54
Oh, you're wrong, brother.
:16:56
I'm gonna go the distance.