Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat
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1:16:00
I wasn't trying to get them
to come at me right here...

1:16:03
so I jumped down
and did some pushups.

1:16:05
I said. "Wait. Officer.
let me do a few of these."

1:16:08
And I got real "deezed" on 'em.
1:16:11
My arms was hawked up
a little bit...

1:16:13
so I could go up in that motherfucker
and bang with these niggers.

1:16:15
"What? What. Nigger. What?"
1:16:18
So they take me to the precinct
and throw me in the cell by myself.

1:16:24
So I'm sittin' in that motherfucker
with the arms all swolled...

1:16:27
chest all "deezed."
1:16:30
Nobody to rumble
out that motherfucker.

1:16:34
They said. "The best way to get back
at Martin... let him stay by hisself."

1:16:38
The next thing you know. An hour go by.
my "deez" drops a little bit.

1:16:44
Another hour go by.
and they drop a little more.

1:16:47
About four hours go by.
I'm holding my arms. Going. "Oh. Bitch.

1:16:51
I'm sorry!
1:16:55
He hit me first!
1:16:58
I'm not an animal!
1:17:00
I'm not an animal."
1:17:02
Finally they let me
up out the motherfucker.

1:17:05
I'm getting ready to get outta there.
thinking I'm going home and shit...

1:17:10
and they hand me a paper
to go to court.

1:17:12
I go to court.
1:17:14
The judge I had was this. You know...
he was a cool. Young white dude.

1:17:17
Didn't take no shit. But straight
to the point. Tell you how it is.

1:17:21
He said. "Martin. What the fuck
are you doing in my courtroom?

1:17:25
I wanna know why the fuck
are you in my courtroom.

1:17:28
I don't understand that.
1:17:29
Whoa. Whoa. You mean I go to have
my bagel and coffee this morning...

1:17:34
I look at the paperwork. And your
fucking name is on my fucking desk?

1:17:38
What are you thinking?
You know what you're doing?

1:17:41
You're making an ass out of yourself
and you're blowing it. Kid.

1:17:44
You're blowing it.
1:17:45
You're in a position to do
what a lot of people would love to do...

1:17:48
and you're throwing it away.
1:17:50
You're becoming a menace to society.
and it doesn't even make sense.

1:17:53
Why don't you use all this exposure and
shit to do something positive. Martin?

1:17:58
'Cause you're in my courtroom.
I will lock your fucking ass up.


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