Van Wilder
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:30:01
I have a chance to make front page
of the graduation issue...

:30:03
which is a huge deal to me.
:30:06
Let me get the other side.
:30:08
There's this function
I'm hosting tomorrow night.

:30:11
If you want...
you could tag along.

:30:14
- I'll be there.
- It's a date.

:30:16
It's an interview.
:30:19
Remember, today's assignment
is about shadow.

:30:21
So don't get too hung up
on detail.

:30:23
All right, everybody?
:30:25
Oh, Lord!
:30:29
So much sinew,
I need a bigger pencil.

:30:32
8:30 p.m.
Yeah, that's fine.

:30:36
Word spread around campus. My calendar
was filled with parties to plan.

:30:40
Van Wilder, party liaison, was born.
:30:45
At the Hillel House, I broke bread.
:30:48
And then I broke the boredom.
:30:54
They said I did them a mitzvah.
That's Yiddish for "good deed. "

:30:57
Write that down.
:31:00
Oh, yeah, she came too.
:31:07
This is the second party
of his she's gone to.

:31:09
Sounds serious. Threatened?
:31:13
Threatened? Please.
:31:16
I'm president of both my fraternity
and the student government.

:31:21
He's nothing more
than a mild rectal itch.

:31:25
You know what you do
about a mild rectal itch, Gordo?

:31:27
- What's that, Richard?
- You scratch it.

:31:29
Then you scratch it some more.
:31:31
The more you scratch at it,
the worse it gets...

:31:33
until finally you have nothing left
but a raw, chafed...

:31:37
possibly infected anal cavity.
:31:41
Then it's won.
:31:42
When all you had to do from the start
was take a medicated pad...

:31:48
and smother it.
:31:54
All right, people,
midterm is next week.

:31:58
Here you have your five categories--

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