:18:00
Phoenix, Arizona, I give you the one...
:18:02
...the only, Larry the Cable Guy.
:18:09
Get her done!
:18:13
Boy, good to see you.
Good to see you.
:18:16
I had a horrible nightmare last night.
:18:20
I dreamt I drunk
the world's largest margarita...
:18:23
...and woke up this morning,
there was salt on the toilet lid.
:18:31
Thank God I didn't eat the worm
in there. I'll tell you that much.
:18:35
Boy, that wouldn't have been good,
right there.
:18:39
It was a crazy week.
:18:40
I called one of them 900 talk-dirty numbers
the other day. You ever call one of them?
:18:46
Yeah!
:18:47
That's it? Two people? That's it?
:18:50
And those voices sounded familiar,
to be honest with you.
:18:54
Don't call. It's a rip-off.
:18:56
I got a girl that stuttered,
and it cost me $1 700 on that deal.
:19:01
Can you believe that?
:19:04
But I love women.
:19:05
I used to date this one girl
had one boob bigger than the other.
:19:10
And she got in a wet T-shirt contest and
took first and third place at that contest.
:19:17
Bless her heart. I was so proud
of my sister, bless her heart.
:19:25
I used to date this one girl looked
like Michelle Pfeiffer, only shorter...
:19:29
...and the face was different.
:19:33
I was drinking,
it looked like Michelle Pfeiffer.
:19:36
Next morning, Barney Pfeiffer's lying
in the bed next to me.
:19:40
She was ugly.
:19:41
I had one girl had a beauty mark
on her cheek.
:19:43
That was sexy, like Cindy Crawford.
:19:45
We get to kissing, and I was looking at it.
It was a tick!
:19:49
I know. I disappeared like a set of rims
at a Puff Daddy concert.
:19:54
I'll tell you what, I was out the door.
:19:57
Out the door.