:33:01
What happened?
:33:02
The black nail polish, black lipstick, black
eyeliner, black hair, Liquid-Paper-white face.
:33:08
I'm sorry. Didn't we used
to call that Halloween?
:33:13
They walked in the front door, and l
looked at that little girl and just went:
:33:20
I'm trying to be nice, and my daughter
said, "Daddy, this is my friend Lucy."
:33:24
And I said, "Hey, Luci...fer."
:33:32
She looked at me like,
"l will set you ablaze right now."
:33:37
Nobody tells you about that
when you have kids.
:33:40
Nobody tells you about the stuff
you never hear about.
:33:42
Nobody told me kids would get out
of their bed and come into your room.
:33:47
My son developed this really bad habit.
He would come to my side of the bed...
:33:51
...and he'd get that close to my face.
:33:54
And just stare at me.
:33:59
You ever get that feeling when you know
you're being watched? He'd be like:
:34:06
"Dad.
:34:09
Dad.
:34:13
-Dad."
-"What? What? What? "
:34:16
He starts crying.
My wife goes, "You scared him!"
:34:18
I'm like, "Hell, he scared me!
:34:21
Jesus, put a bell around his neck!"
:34:26
And if I ever find out who told
my son this, I will kill him.
:34:29
Apparently, somebody told my son
there's a wiener thief out there.
:34:33
And if he takes his hand off it,
they gonna snatch it away.
:34:38
His hand doesn't leave his pants.
It's like his own little worry stone.
:34:43
He's just:
:34:51
I told him. I said, "Boy, that thing's
got a shelf life. Trust me."