:39:02
She left the needle in my head!
:39:12
I took my family
on an RV trip last summer.
:39:14
I thought RV stood for
"recreational vehicle." No.
:39:16
It stands for "ruins vacations."
:39:20
I had never driven one of these things.
Dear God, It's 35 feet long, 8 feet wide...
:39:24
...and got two mirrors that stick out
three feet on each side.
:39:27
Good Lord, I was like a passenger
trying to land a 747.
:39:31
I'm weaving all over the road.
:39:34
I'm getting flipped off by kids
in car seats, all right?
:39:39
Don't know why they put a reverse on these
dumb things. I never learned to back it up.
:39:44
If I pulled into a Quickie Mart
too far past the pump to get gas...
:39:48
...there was no backing up.
:39:50
It was, go all the way around the block
and try it again.
:39:56
Thank God I wasn't the only one.
:39:57
Sometimes there would be seven or eight
of us just circling that Quickie Mart...
:40:01
...just like a white trash road race.
:40:07
I took my family camping
because I'm an idiot.
:40:11
We're gonna go camping. We live in L.A.
We don't have any camping gear.
:40:15
So I go to this store,
and I'm buying camping gear...
:40:17
...and I saw this product.
And when I saw it, I just started laughing.
:40:20
Because we've become
so ecologically-minded now...
:40:23
...they've developed a product called
"Rapidly Dissolving Toilet Paper."
:40:30
Just how rapidly are we talking?
:40:34
Because I don't want to have to play
Beat the Clock in the thicket, all right?
:40:41
If it's dark,
I can't see what's going on.
:40:43
I got to know that toilet paper
is gonna be there to finish the job.
:40:51
But the reason you
go on these RV trips...
:40:54
...and these camping trips
is because as your kids grow up...
:40:57
...they also grow apart from you,
and it tears your heart out.