:56:00
I love NASCAR.
It's a difficult thing to talk about on-stage...
:56:04
...because NASCAR fans
will start fighting with each other.
:56:07
Every NASCAR fan has got
that one driver they love...
:56:10
...and every NASCAR fan has got
that one driver they can't stand.
:56:14
Jeff Gordon.
:56:16
It's always Jeff Gordon.
:56:19
I've figured out why a lot of NASCAR fans
don't like Jeff Gordon.
:56:23
It's not because Gordon won the points
championship and wins a lot of races.
:56:27
A lot of NASCAR fans don't like
Jeff Gordon because he enunciates.
:56:35
There's not a place in NASCAR
for that kind of stuff.
:56:40
See, true NASCAR fans
want an interview with a driver...
:56:43
...where you have no idea
what he's talking about.
:56:47
"Boy, I tell you, we run pretty good
all day long and developed a bit of a push...
:56:51
...and brought her in, booger-jacked some
wedge in her and she run like a spotted....
:57:01
Did get trouble in the middle of the race
when Ricky puked a motor...
:57:05
...and I touched Dale on the backside.
:57:06
But for the most part, the Hardee's-Burger
King-Taco Bell-KFC Chevrolet is awesome.
:57:18
As Southern as I am,
I'm like, " Dude, what?
:57:22
Were there any words in that? "
:57:26
Speaking of words, I do have
a few new redneck words for you.
:57:33
First one: "mayonnaise."
:57:38
Mayonnaise a lot of people
here this evening.
:57:44
It's kind of a gift. They come to me
in my sleep. I write them down.
:57:51
Brand-new one: "aorta."
:57:55
Aorta cut that grass down by
the ball field so them kids don't get hurt.