1:07:00
"Where are your parents? "
1:07:12
Everything has changed.
Even their toys have changed.
1:07:15
I noticed every toy my kids get has tags in it
showing you somebody has inspected it...
1:07:20
...to make sure there's no way a child
could hurt themselves playing with that toy.
1:07:25
I remember being 9 years old.
My parents bought me a wood burning kit.
1:07:31
What could possibly go wrong
with a toy like that?
1:07:35
A sharp, metal stick that heated up
to 5000 degrees.
1:07:40
Our dogs and cats didn't have tags
around their neck...
1:07:42
...but everybody in the neighborhood
knew who they belonged to.
1:07:47
"The Circle F brand.
That's a Foxworthy cat right there."
1:07:55
You remember the wood burning kits?
Remember those?
1:07:58
The cord on it was about that long.
1:08:01
So you're always guaranteed to be right
next to the drapes while you played with it.
1:08:07
What were they thinking?
Did anybody else have the swing set?
1:08:10
My parents were too lazy
to actually pour the concrete in the ground.
1:08:14
With our swing set, every time you swung
above this high, the front legs would go:
1:08:26
There were stuntmen
that would not swing on our swing set.
1:08:32
What were they thinking,
some of those toys?
1:08:36
Lawn Darts.
1:08:39
Twelve-pound darts!
1:08:41
You could kill an elk
with a Lawn Dart!
1:08:44
There were no directions.
They came in a box of eight.
1:08:46
We pulled them out of the box,
threw them straight up in the air.
1:08:50
Catch one with your head...
1:08:51
...you're getting coloring books
for Christmas for the rest of your life.
1:08:58
A lot of guys say to me, "Man,
how you live with all those women? "