Once Upon a Time in the Midlands
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:01:00
we welcomed
:01:02
Carol's partner, Charlie.
:01:04
[APPLAUSE]
:01:08
Howdy, folks.
:01:10
[***]
:01:13
* I am the Midlands cowboy *
:01:17
* I go from town to town *
:01:20
* I wear my boots and Stetson *
:01:22
* And the bad guys
Wear a frown *

:01:25
* I sing my songs *
:01:26
* I right the wrongs *
:01:29
* I wear this great apparel *
:01:31
* Most of all *
:01:32
* I wanna sing
About my love for Carol **

:01:36
[APPLAUSE]
:01:38
Thank you.
:01:40
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
I think he sounds
a bit selfish,

:01:42
and I think you need
:01:44
to start taking on
some responsibility, Charlie.

:01:47
How can you call me selfish?
You don't know me.

:01:49
I mean, I'm great with my kids.
:01:50
I get them up,
make their breakfast.

:01:52
I pack their lunch,
take them to school.

:01:53
I pick them up,
I bathe the lads--

:01:55
But you need to earn money.
:01:56
What do you
know about it?

:01:58
You've probably
got no kids.

:01:59
Who'd want kids
with you?

:02:00
VANESSA: Oh, I
can't have you...

:02:02
I can't have you
insulting my audience.

:02:03
CHARLIE: Well,
she's insulted me.

:02:05
VANESSA:
I hope he doesn't

:02:06
talk to you like
that at home, Carol.

:02:08
CAROL: No, no.
:02:09
Fuck, Carol.
:02:10
Don't get me wrong,
he is a good dad.

:02:12
He's the best dad
in the world,you know?

:02:13
I've got my daughter,
Donna.

:02:15
He's not the father
of Donna, right,

:02:16
but he took
me and Donna in

:02:18
when she was a little girl
and all that,

:02:20
and he's an
absolute diamond

:02:21
and I love him.
:02:22
I've been with him
all this time...

:02:23
Bad sister.
:02:25
but the thing is,
:02:26
I'm sort of getting
to the age now

:02:28
that he was
when we met

:02:29
and I sort of think...
:02:31
You know
what I mean?

:02:32
He's going backwards and I'm
trying to move us on...

:02:35
Charlie, man.
:02:36
HOST: Well, you say
he's a great father,

:02:38
and as it so happens,
:02:39
we've got your
best friend, Shirley,

:02:41
her daughter,
Marlene,

:02:42
and your older
daughter, Donna,

:02:44
all waiting backstage.
:02:45
Come on out, girls!
:02:47
[APPLAUSE]
:02:50
Oh, fuck.
:02:55
Hi, girls. Welcome.
:02:57
Shirley, you're Carol's very
good friend. Do you think...

:02:59
I mean, there's obviously
a lot of love going on here.


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