Once Upon a Time in the Midlands
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:20:01
No, I'm just writing
a couple of tunes, you know.

:20:03
Yeah, no, I'm in on my own.
:20:06
Can you send me a 12 incher
'round, please, son?

:20:11
Yeah, and I know what I'd like
to do with it too.

:20:13
Thanks a lot, kid.
:20:15
[BREAKS WIND]
:20:17
Oh, I'm sorry,
darling.

:20:21
[BREAKS WIND LOUDER]
:20:22
What's wrong with me tonight?
For God's sake. Where is it?

:20:25
Huh?
Where is it? Is it behind you?

:20:27
Where's what? What?
This.

:20:29
What?
:20:30
Yeah, this.
Yeah?

:20:31
Yeah, this lad at
school's got one, Dek.

:20:33
Just take it to work
or something.

:20:34
If you're bored, play
with your binoculars.

:20:36
What?
:20:37
Just play with them,
whatever.

:20:38
All right.
:20:39
I won't see anything
anyway. It's dark.

:20:41
Stop sayin' that.
Okay, I'm doing it.

:20:43
I'm going
to do it now.

:20:44
All right.
Go on.

:20:50
I can't see anything.
:20:51
[LAUGHS]
:20:55
Why are you laughing?
:20:56
Oh, you're just
dead funny, Dek.

:20:58
I know.
:21:01
[MIMICS BREAKING WIND]
:21:02
Skegness is my heaven,
it's number 37.

:21:06
Come on, it's destiny, isn't it?
:21:08
Chips and curry on a plate,
:21:10
38.
:21:11
What do you need?
39.

:21:13
Telling lies is naughty,
:21:14
40.
:21:16
Yes!
:21:17
We have a winner.
:21:18
Oh, bloody hell,
it's the swamp monster.

:21:20
What are you looking at?
Do you want a picture?

:21:22
Just leave it, Carol.
:21:23
No, I'm fed up with
this bingo lark.

:21:25
I'll tell you what.
This town's a bit too small--

:21:28
You twat!
:21:30
That really hurt.
:21:32
I'm going to the toilet.
Come on, move.

:21:34
Watch the drinks.
:21:35
Ah, fuck the drinks.
:21:37
I'm going to need
a stitch in this.

:21:44
Carol, wait up for us.
:21:45
Stop being
so bloody mardy.

:21:46
Shut up. I've got a hole
in the back of my head.

:21:49
You've got hole in the front
of your head as well.

:21:52
Cheeky.
Hold on.

:21:53
That's how tumors
start, you know.

:21:54
Don't be stupid.
:21:56
Yeah, you won't
be laughing

:21:57
when I start
spazzing out

:21:58
and frothing
at the mouth.


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