Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

That's where we come in.
Globo Gym employs
a highly trained, quasi-cultural staff

of personal alteration specialists.
With our competitively priced
onsite cosmetic surgery,

we can turn that Frankenstein
you see in the mirror every morning

into a Franken-fine.
Of course, you'll still be you in a legal sense,
but think of it as a thinner,
more attractive, better you

than you could ever become without us.
How do I know?
Well, I'm not only the founder of Globo Gym,

I'm also a client.
That's me, six years and 600lbs ago,
before I knew how much I hated myself.

That all changed once I founded Globo Gym.
But don'tjust take my word for it. Listen
to these Globo gymers tell you how it is...

That feels good.
Oh, the tickle machine.
Crash, no. Crash, out.
Bad dog. No grundle.
Come on down and join the winning team,
because here at Globo Gym,
we're better than you.

And we know it.
Spare me.
Mr La Fleur, this is Doris
from the Department of Water and Power.

We've been trying to reach you,
but your phone was disconnected.

We'll be shutting off
your water and power at 5pm today

due to an eight-month overdue account.
Thank you and have a nice day.

This is Seth from Videorama.
The following DVDs are now overdue.

Drunken Hussies 3, Backdoor Patrol 5
and Mona Lisa Smile. Thank you.