Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

Dude, I have no idea
where we are.

- Is that a hitchhiker?
- What the hell?

- Should we pick him up?
- And get chopped to bits? Are you crazy?

You know what? We're lost. He may
know how to get back on the highway.

Get back on the road.
This is my car.

We are not picking up
a hitchhiker, man.

Hey, guys, thanks
for picking me up.

Excuse me,
are you Neil Patrick Harris?

- Oh, my God, what are you doing here?
- Holy shit.

Dude, Doogie Howser M. D. Was,
like, my favorite show growing up.

You were my idol.
That's great. Could we get going?
I'm bored as shit back here.

- Go, go.
- Let's go. This is a frickin' boring spot.

So I gotta ask you, Neil,
did you ever get it on
with Wanda off the set?

Dude, I humped every piece
of ass ever on that show.

Even the chick
who played the hot nurse?

No. I didn't go
all the way with her.

Neil, you wouldn't happen to know
how to get on the highway
from here, would you?

Dude, I don't even know
where the fuck I am right now.

I was at this party earlier tonight
and some guy hooked me up
with this incredible X.

The next thing I know, I'm being
thrown out of a moving car.

- I've been tripping balls ever since.
- That's crazy, dude.

We've been having
a pretty crazy night, too.

We've just been driving around
looking for White Castle,

but we keep getting sidetracked.
Yeah, dude, you fascinate me.
Forget White Castle.
Let's go get some pussy.

- Huh?
- It's a fuckin' sausage-fest in here.

Let's get us some poontang.
Then we'll go to White Castle.

No, Neil, you don't understand.
We've been craving
these burgers all night.

Yeah, I've been craving
burgers, too... fur burgers.

Come on, dudes, let's pick up
some trim at a strip club.

The Doogie line
always works on strippers.

Lap dance.
There's a gas station.
I'm gonna see if we can get directions.

We don't need...
Hurry up, dudes, hurry up.
I'm losing wood.

Hurry, hurry, hurry,
hurry, hurry, hurry.

- Chill.
- We'll be right back, Neil.