I Heart Huckabees

So you come by Huckabees corporate and
say you're my fucking existential detectives?

- I'm lucky if I last another day!
- We can solve your case sooner
if you're straight with us.

I'm being straight with you.
Brad smeared me...

and took the coalition
in a different direction.

- That's straight.
- At Schottinger's photo archive
where you met Mr. Nimieri--

Who's Mr.-- Who's that?
- The African guy.
- That's the African guy from my coincidence.

- This is what I wanna talk about.
- It wasn't your first time at Schottinger's, was it?

- Did I say it was?
- You did. You agree it wasn't?

Sure. It wasn't my first time.
Big deal.

It was more like a regular thing with you.
And you weren't finding a still of Bob Dylan.

You were planting photos
of yourself in the archive.

- What are you getting at?
- Why would you do something like that?

To be noticed.
Maybe urgently.

- Maybe,yeah.
- Uh-huh.

How did that affect things
with Brad at the coalition?

How did it affect things at
the coalition? I don't know.

You know, it was a drag.
It really was a drag.

Because I wanted my poems to go out
with the fund-raiser mailing. Brad didn't.

He was all obsessed
with Shania and Pete Sampras.

Not what we were really
supposed to be focusing on-- hurt.

You planted photos of yourself and your poems
at Schottinger's. Brad didn't respect you.

- No, he didn't.
- And yet you brought him into
the open spaces coalition.

- Why is that?
- I needed the sponsor to take
my cause to another level.

That's why.
Why else would I do it?

- Like we said. To be noticed.
- This is absurd. Show me my folder.

- No. That is not productive.
- At the photo archive, you spent a lot of time...

looking at old Jessica Lange
bathing suit stills, why?

That's only because Lange
comes before Markovski.

I was putting my head shots under Markovski,
and then ''L'' is right before it.

I might've looked at a little bit of Lange
on the way out. What's the big deal?

- Albert, baby, come on.
- What, is it a crime? Is it a crime to look at Lange?

- [ Vivian ] Have you ever been in love?
- What kind of question is that?

- Do you even believe in love?
- Or do you only have fantasy relationships...

because anything else
would be too painful?

Bernard, excuse me. But I'm
making some progress here.

So am I, darling.
So am I.