The 40 Year Old Virgin
prev.
play.
mark.
next.

:10:00
Wow!
(Jay)
Yeah.

:10:01
Foot fuck!
That's sick, man.

:10:03
Wow.
That is not sick.

:10:05
I will give you sick.
Oh, shit.

:10:07
I was sleeping with a woman
recently, she had the...

:10:09
Her tits were unbelievable.
Oh, man, I love titties.

:10:13
And so we're doing it
and I'm about to finish...

:10:16
and her dog starts
licking my ass.

:10:18
I swear to God, I have
to decide, do I finish
or do I stop the dog?

:10:22
I know your nasty ass.
He finished.

:10:24
I finished.
And then I stole the dog.

:10:28
No, I didn't, but...
:10:30
You know, sometimes,
Amy and I would make love...

:10:33
till it was almost like
we weren't two people...

:10:35
but we were two spirits
or something.

:10:37
Our souls were
connected in this way,
I can't describe it.

:10:41
Time stood still.
It was like we were
sharing the same heart.

:10:44
Stop, man! Why do you
always come and kill the vibe
with those things?

:10:48
"Sharing the same heart,"
that's like some...

:10:50
Britney Spears shit, man.
:10:52
This is three grown ass men,
don't nobody want to hear
that shit.

:10:55
Yeah, man, come on,
nobody wants to
hear that shit.

:10:57
Thank you, Andy.
Dude, you broke up
two years ago.

:11:00
You get over it
at some point.
Two years, man.

:11:02
You need to get past that...
:11:04
because no ass
is worth thinking
that much about...

:11:07
I always say.
:11:09
Andy, do me a favor.
:11:10
Would you please help him
redeem himself by telling
a real sex story?

:11:14
Yes.
:11:16
I don't... You know what,
I'm a gentleman
and I don't...

:11:20
I don't kiss and tell.
:11:21
Fuck it, I raise you.
Nastiest shit
you've ever done.

:11:25
I'm talking about nasty.
:11:28
Wow.
:11:29
So many stories
are running through
my head right now.

:11:34
I dated this girl...
:11:36
for a while, and she was
really a nasty freak.

:11:40
She just loved to get down
with sex all the time.

:11:45
She was like, any time of day,
she was like:

:11:48
"Yeah, let's go.
I'm so nasty."

:11:50
And I'd be nailing her.
:11:52
Oh, shit.
She'd be like:

:11:53
"Oh, you're nailing me. Cool."
:11:56
She talk dirty to you?
She loved to dirty-talk.


prev.
next.