The 40 Year Old Virgin
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:31:00
[Glass shattering]
:31:01
Oh, God! Turn away!
:31:04
Hey, get off the wheel.
:31:08
You're not gonna
get in my pants
acting like that.

:31:11
I'm starving.
:31:13
Let's get some
fucking French toast.

:31:16
[Tires screeching]
:31:17
Okay, here we are.
Oh, God, we made it.

:31:21
Home sweet home.
:31:24
Oh, mommy!
:31:25
[Screeching]
:31:28
[Panting]
:31:29
Are you okay?
The fucker came
out of nowhere.

:31:34
Okay. We're okay.
:31:37
[Laughing]
:31:39
[Crying]
:31:40
Are you okay?
:31:42
Well, are you...
What's the matter?

:31:48
[Gasps]
:31:50
I'm sorry.
:31:52
That's okay.
I think I kind of
had that coming.

:31:56
I'll still have sex with you
if you want.

:31:58
You know what, I think
I'm gonna pass on the sex,
if you don't mind.

:32:01
At least I don't have
to work out tomorrow.

:32:04
Did you have
a daiquiri tonight?
Yeah.

:32:06
I thought you might.
:32:08
It was a very bad night.
:32:09
[All laughing]
:32:11
Yeah, laugh.
:32:12
You know what,
you guys wouldn't be
laughing right now...

:32:15
if some girl had just
vomited shellfish sandwich
into your mouth.

:32:18
[Grunts]
:32:19
You know what, you're right,
it's my bad.

:32:21
Let me apologize to you
first of all...

:32:23
for not mentioning in detail
that when you pick up
a drunk woman...

:32:27
who's falling down
on her way out of the bar...

:32:30
that you should
probably drive.
I drive a bike.

:32:33
Okay,
Mr. Schwinn-fucking-Armstrong,
who asked you to drive a bike?

:32:37
You know what,
I'm not the only person
in the world...

:32:39
who rides a bike.
:32:40
Yeah, everyone rides a bike,
when they're fucking six.

:32:43
Why don't you kiss something?
:32:45
Because this is over,
you guys, okay?

:32:48
Can I just interject
for a second?

:32:50
[Stuttering]
Let me just say...

:32:52
you're putting the pussy up
on this pedestal.

:32:54
You're just building
the pussy up, man.

:32:56
What are you even
talking about?

:32:57
"Building the pussy up,"
what does that mean?

:32:59
You making the pussy into
this great big Greek goddess
named Pussalia...


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